I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
