bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
