Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
