I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
