Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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