Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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