thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
