Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
