It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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