wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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