I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
