I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
