Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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