tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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