hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
