im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
love makes seman taste better
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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