you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
