week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
