you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How external is "for external use only"?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
