no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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