people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
