Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
