her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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