i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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