Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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