I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
