Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
