Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
