Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
