You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
