I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
