id be glad to
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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