Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
