4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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