why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
