Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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