I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you still have your period?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
