Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
vagina is talking i cant
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
