it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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