East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Welp...herpes.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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