I think I just saw someone hide a body.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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