I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
