What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
