She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
