I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
