Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The maid of honor just puked.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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