So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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