she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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