it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
