Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Randomize
